6 Ways to Face Fear and Create Courage

I think we create courage only after we’ve been intimate with fear.

Have you ever felt fear?

I’ll bet you have.

CourageDoesNotAlwaysRoarIt can come from many directions: fear for the safety of our loved ones, fear of loss (job, spouse, health, home, reputation), fear of success or failure, fear of a change we’re unprepared for.

I don’t see myself as a courageous person. I just try to put one foot in front of the other and move forward in a positive direction. I try to do what needs to be done.

But there have been times, let me tell you, when I’ve been frozen in fear. I had to work hard to find the courage to take that next step. I discovered a few strategies that helped me pull through – some of them I’m using right now as we rebuild after the fire.

Maybe these ideas will help you too:

1. Consider the alternative. What are the other options available to you? Giving up and letting someone else carry the ball is one. Retreating back to your safe zone is another. Do either of those choices sound attractive? Will you be happy with yourself if you allow it to happen? Will it improve your condition or that of the people you care about?

2. Look to someone you admire. They’ve been through it. They haven’t gotten to where they are now without some sort of struggle. I guarantee it. Maybe it’s time you have a heart-to-heart talk with them. See if they’ll describe the tough times and how they survived. They probably won’t say anything you haven’t heard before, but just hearing their story may encourage you. If they can do it, you can muddle through too.

3. Imagine yourself wading through the mess and reaching one small goal. Taken alone it might not seem like much, but in looking back, you’ll be amazed at what you’ve gotten through. Visioning is powerful. The ability to see ourselves succeeding builds self-confidence and helps us muster up the courage to take that first step.

4. Document your accomplishments. I keep a “Breadcrumbs Book” where I’ve listed all the milestones from this past year. It helps when I’m tempted to let myself get overwhelmed at what still lies ahead. I can look back in my book and see how progress unfolded.

5. Rally the troops. There are more people rooting for you than you can imagine. Reach out to a few of your best advocates, closest family and friends. Ask them for help or just a listening ear when you need it. Sometimes, just talking it through is enough to relieve some pressure and get a few new ideas on how to cope. Holding it all inside won’t do you any good.

6. Value the pluses of patience. When we lost the house, advisers said, “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” I didn’t really understand the depth of that wisdom when I first heard it. But I know now that patience has been one of the biggest benefits of facing fear. Solutions don’t come quickly. I’ve had to learn to trust in the process and God to help us get to the other side.

I’m not blowing smoke at you. These past few years have been the hardest of my life. I’ve had to accept my challenges, consciously choose a positive path and try to create something good from each one of them. I believe that making the decision to improve your condition, even in some small way, is the best way to face fear.

Courage is indeed the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, “I will try again tomorrow.”

How have you persevered? What’s helped you put one foot in front of the other? Please share your suggestions in comments below.

Survival Skills to Navigate Change

Change, chaTornado Oklahoma, USAnge and more change! While some people think it’s good for us, I took an informal poll and that’s not necessarily true!

Many say we could actually do with a lot less change, thank you very much! We plead, “Why can’t things just settle down to a nice, steady pace so we can catch our breath? Is it asking too much to have time to implement one thing before we begin another?”

No doubt about it, change is in the air and whether we’re ready or not, it’s something we must adapt to regardless of how much pleading we might do. In fact, the ability to quickly deal with a changing environment is a survival skill.

So, here are a few practical tips to help us cope, no matter what life or business sends our way:

Prepare for the struggle before the storm. Ever notice we experience almost as much turmoil of “angst” preparing to make the change as we do going through it? This is especially true if we are the instigators. It’s not always easier to be the one who starts the process because of the toll it takes beforehand both mentally and emotionally. It’s almost a welcome relief once we’ve made up our minds and the change begins!

Manage both endings and beginnings. With every new beginning, we also face an ending – or two or three. Endings and beginnings can be constructive or destructive, but our job is to end as many destructive patterns, behaviors, relationships as possible. Then we must substitute them with constructive replacements. Something will fill the void, so let’s be sure to make a conscious choice rather than accept by default what happens to come our way. Fashion designer, Coco Chanel said, “It’s in the act of deciding what to remove that we place value on what’s left behind.”

Set a reasonable risk set point. In the book, Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales, the author observes that most of us have a risk tolerance threshold or set-point. If circumstances change to lower the risk, we’ll raise the ante with our words or actions to bring risk levels back up to our personal comfort zone. Many of us will actually provoke change just to get some excitement brewing! We often forget, especially in a leadership role, that our “rope” is tied to others on our team who won’t be able to stop the fall should the leader lose his footing. At the very least, it puts them in a highly stressed environment and keeps the cortisol levels higher than need be. Short term thinking shuts down when cortisol floods our systems and that’s no way to treat a team!

Be as cautious coming down the hill as on the way up. More accidents happen to people as they’re climbing back down because they feel they’ve already reached their goal – the summit. Oh contraire! The real goal is to get down safely. So let’s not be seduced by that sense of relief, sunny skies, singing birds and the wind in our hair! Let’s pay just as much attention so we don’t lose our footing during implementation and post-change gap-analysis as we did during the ascent.

Adopt a positive mental attitude by helping others. In life or death situations, doctors and nurses tend to have higher survival rates. In addition to being better trained, they’re also focused on helping others, which takes their minds off their own concerns. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in ourselves that we slide quickly towards depression and apathy. We feel like we have no control over circumstances and once we adopt a mindset of “Who cares, anyway?”, we’re doomed.

Instead, it’s better to channel our energy towards helping others adapt. The result of this service-oriented mindset? We become stronger and find it much easier to maintain a positive mental attitude, no matter what life and business throws our way!